Albania

A few months ago, while in Albania, I was trying to keep myself occupied (when you are a girl in a country such as Albania there isn’t much you can do). Anyhow, I was trying to shoot but there were no modelling agencies in the city or in the whole country for that matter. I tried the whole going downtown and asking random girls that I found pretty and interesting enough to want to shoot but most of them didn’t give me the time of day. They would walk right past me and the ones that did stop and gave me a chance to talk would let me talk for a few minutes before telling me “they aren’t gay”. When I first heard that I was shocked and speechless (those that know me know I am not one to be quiet and have nothing to say) but this came out of the blue and I wasn’t expecting it at all. I was left dumbfounded and just in awe of what just had happened. I didn’t let it discourage me though. I still kept at it and I heard that saying a few more times and I would tell them “I’m not gay, I am happily married, I’m a Canadian photographer visiting family and just want to photograph people”. Nothing worked. So I just bowed my head down in shame and took myself back home. Since no one would let me shoot them I had a lot of time on my hands.

I had nothing better to do so I decided to make a few videos. These videos aren’t amazing by any means but I had fun and they were my first ever attempt to make something different. Since I had a huge problem with finding models I stuck to shooting myself hahaha

Hope you enjoy them.

Music: Deftones – Change / Music: The Cinematic Orchestra – To Build A Home

Change

Build A Home

May 4th, 2010

I’ve been in Albania for the past 4 days now and I can not put in words how much I have missed my family. My brother Elvis who I haven’t seen in 7 years and my mother who I haven’t seen in 6 years. My dearest grandma who I haven’t seen since I was 14 years old and my cousins, aunts and uncles since I was 8 years old. Its been great spending time with them all!

Everything looks so different yet all to familiar. Remembering places where I used to play when I was younger, blurry faces clearing up and my mind begins to piece them together. I feel lost when I am out and about, people looking at me like I do not belong, talking about me thinking I don’t understand them. So many people are so vulgar and have such animal characteristics here.

Feels weird to see animals roaming the streets eating garbage. Watching kids up to 4 years old walking around bare foot on the street looking for food all by themselves, sleeping on the street late at night with no one there to take care of them. I have never felt this kind of sadness like I’ve felt these past few days of witnessing all these things. I used to think my glass was always half empty, this life experience has opened my eyes and shown me that my glass has always been half full!